November 5, 2007 6:54 pm

There’s a commercial on the radio now, about jewelry, pearls in particular. At the end of it, the motto says, “And I don’t think the oysters will even mind if you take all the credit”. In my car, I’m listening to this, thinking, “Yeah, sure, gouge out my tongue, find the little bead hiding up in there, and take credit, thanks. That’s great, go ahead. Really, I don’t mind. I mean, do you think if oysters could talk, they’d say that? And to top it off, the people tearing the life out of these animals take the ONE fugging thing that makes them worth anything to anyone else. LOL Just wrong, man. Just wrong. I mean I sympathize with these little creatures. I’m not worth much either. According to my friend at work, (whom I will lovingly nickname Remix), on a scale from 1 – 10, I’m an 8. You’d think I’d be flattered, me and my little oyster like self being called an 8 out of 10! Why wasn’t I, you wonder? Well he proceeded to say, “And 7 of that goes to you’re a$$, Shay.”
Meh…my a$$ is my pearl. LMAO

My last rat died over night last night. I know you all aren’t fans of my pet rats, but they were wicked cool. My daughter and I would take walks to the lil convenient store, and keep them in our shirts until we got in line. Then we’d pull them out. Was fugging great to watch people’s faces when we’d do it. I called my daughter to let her know that her last one, Templeton, had passed away, and she says, “Does that mean we won’t have a big cage on top of our TV anymore?” LMAO (that’s where we used to keep the cage…yeah… some people have little sculptures, or doo dads, but no, we had rats on our entertainment center). LMAO (R.I.P. TEMPLETON- You rocked!)

The boys, Funkyshovel and Shooter, and I were hanging out. I explain to them my theory about my long ass tailbone, and how I’m most sure that I’m evolving. I explain this to Shooter, and tell Funkyshovel to touch it. He does, agrees that it’s long for a tailbone then we proceed to joke about him “Stroking my coccyx. Quite a big coccyx I have…it’s really rather impressive, my coccyx.” Hey, Funkyshovel, I know you’re reading this, and you know, generally, men who play with other people’s coccyxes are gay. At some point, you may want to look within and see why you like stroking my little coccyx.

I emailed Shooter today, a fellow geeker- (YAY)- and this is my email to him.
“BOO”
LOL
LMAO
Have a great day!

Aren’t you all glad you aren’t friends with me…you don’t have to get insignificant, retarded garbage like this in your email. Fug you if you agree with what I just said! You suck. LOL


Speaking of the boys, I was talking to Shooter about the double sided, uhm, toy use for gay people going to Disney, the fleshy human leash, if you will. People could stick one end in one person, and the other end in another person, and that way when they are walking around gay pride day, they won’t lose each other. Shooter gets a little freaked out, assuming I meant gay MEN, and THEM using it as a leash…ya know, one side of the double sided monster in one hiney and the other side in the other person’s hiney. (Nice assumption Shooter, maybe you and Funkyshovel can get together and discuss why it is you like rubbing coccyxes and assume a double sided toy should be used on men and not women) LMAO At any rate, Shooter says, “That just makes my a$$ cringe.” To which, I responded rather candidly, “I know. I smelled it.”
LMAO

With that lovely little visual, I will leave you all be. Happy Monday… which, if I was in a relationship, sexing it up and getting all sloppy with cuddly yummy goodness, I would endear happily “Moanday”. Tee hee

Have a good one.

September 15, 2007 2:54 pm

:) thank you for your kind words... I should be posting more work soon... im trying to hold off on a few of them for my coming show... you can visit my myspace if you want to take a sneak peak...:)
myspace.com/tar3n

thanks again
-TAR3N

September 11, 2007 3:38 pm

My Disgruntled Moment of the Day:

The 3 of us were asked to do a project for our director. It was tedious and could have been time consuming, yet we only had an hour and a half to finish it. The girl that I work with and I went outside to figure out a method to make the project come together...and we made it work.
One of the guy's I work with, whom I will lovingly endear as "CrackIntheBack", did it all wrong from the beginning and didn't finish it. He realizes time is drawing nearer for him to turn it in.

"Say, What did you get for this?" He asked.
"I'm not telling. That's cheating." I answered.
"Don't be immature." He grumbled.
"Cheating is immature." I responded.
He sighed, frustrated, and said, "C'mon Shay, I need your help."
I lovingly answer, "So does your face."
"Why are you being like this." His patience is wearing thin, and my joy is blossoming.
"Why id your face being like this?" I asked.
"Jeez, it's just a question. I need to get this done for Director Man by 4." He's flustered and his voice is shaking.
"I'm aware of that, as I turned mine in at 3, so i got extra credit." I answered in a NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH voice.
"C'mon Shay, I only need a little credit. Please?"
"So does your face," I answer, "but it's not having any luck either." I continue to work and not even look at him.

He says," Shay, I'm being serious."
I say, I'm sorry that you thought I wasn't."

With this, I stand up, blow my allergy riddled nose and turn to face him. He looks at me disgusted, and rejected.
"Honestly, Shay, that's really messed up. Really." He says, trying to guilt me into bending.
"So is your face, CrackintheBack, really."

And off I go with a notebook, my Sobe energy drink, and a pen in hand, leaving him to ponder the happenings he just experienced. 15 minutes later, (unlike his 3 hours), I returned to drop off the notebook with not just the answer to his question, but with the entire project done. I plopped it on his desk, and smugly walked away, as I whispered, "Can I do MY job now, please?"

The moral of the story, LMAO hello, there's no morals in this story. But I wil tell you that when you burn bridges through arrogance, limelight thieving, dishonest credit claiming, and undeserved gloating, Kharma will find you. And if she doesn't, I will. LMAO!!!!